Tonight we are young

Running away.
Doesn’t it always seem like the best choice for us?
When we make that decision it always never occur to us the pain that it might cause us in the future,
we just want to escape from it now.

Seems like an easier decision?
Many of my decisions were made from pain.
In pain we run, in pain we hide,
in pain we just keep silent hoping that the danger finds us boring and turn away.

Do you feel that in life we seek adventure?
A thrill of a life time?
That rush of hormones surging into our brains?
We love it don’t we.
Waking up to feel more self-accomplished than the day before.

But when the high dies down did you ever stop to think what will happen then?
Or how we have to “up” the dosage just to get the same high?

It’s a tricky society that we are living in.
Truth is we always contradict ourselves.
Life is not but a tricky contradictory circle.

Each day we live by what we put on the priority list.
What we aim.
Some give up along the way some prevail.
But we live on what we put on top.
Being on top always means having the final say or having power right? ( ;] )

However just remember, no matter how much we feel strongly about “going right”
there is always someone out there on the other spectrum that feels strongly about “going left”.

Then it comes to who is right?

Me, you, him, her, them or us?
That just brings us back to us again.
We draw lines that we hold strongly on.
We use it to protect ourselves.
Defense mechanism against world’s un-knowing fears.
Or monsters. lol.

Why do we need such protection?
Wouldn’t it be scary if we woke up one day and we didn’t know what to do?
No routine, no tasks, no guidelines?
We will all just be life-less molecules running around until someone or something tells us what to do.

Sometimes we read the news or watch a movie and wonder
“WHY” “HOW” “NOT POSSIBLE”.
Are you sure? Given in that situation are you 100% positive?

When we walk around people we always tend never to look or stare (isn’t that what mummy/daddy told us?)
but because of that we always fail to notice something.
Something important.

We forget how connected we actually are.
How someone might be having the same thoughts/problems you are facing.
Have you once judged a person before talking to them and only after knowing them did you feel that “hmm not so bad after all” but before that we targeted them as  in the “red” zone.

All seems so easy?
Forget the thought and move on?
How many times have we done it unconsciously?
Did you ever ask why did you do it?
Why some people deserve the “red” tag and some don’t.
We are strangers, cut off from each other.
We forget just how connect we all are.

We always have to make choices in life.
Yes or no. In or out. Up or down. Love or hate.
To be a hero or to be a coward. Important or not important.

Although some are not in our hands.
We do make the final decision to do or die.
But despite all of all the unknowns.
Reality it’s so much more interesting than living happily ever after.

 Right?

-sha-

Why can’t you see
The things you want in me
Aren’t that easy

As I open up
It’s not enough
It’s just not easy

And even though this road is winding
I feel like I am finding my way back to you

And all the world is
A painted picture
Of silver and golden stars
Knowing that we are
Forward facing

Why do I freeze
When you come for me
It’s so easy

I lit the fuse and ran
I burned down who I am
And I’ve rebuilt again
And even though this road is winding
I feel like I am finding my way back to you

Countdown
To a new hometown
Broken down
Rearranged
Settled in
My new skin
Proof that I have changed
We are now the same

And even though this road is winding
I feel like I am finding my way back to you

And all the world is
A painted picture
Of silver and golden stars

-sha-

Lighters

What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or 
old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did?
Maybe our old wounds teach us something. 
They remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. 
They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. 
That's what we like to think. 
But that's not the way it is, is it? 
Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.



-sha-

Punching In a Dream

*tick tock* *tick tock* *tick tock* *tick tock* 

for illustration purposes, you would think these sounds are coming from a clock, 
but they are coming from my head.
Together with a thousand more thoughts that flow in.

I'm going to take you to the past, 
don't fear, as I am not the ghost of any Christmas.

I was lying on the same spot, same bed, 
different clothes but still the same me.

I remember at the one moment I was deciding on my future,
giving myself the best opportunity for success. 

Counting, considering and planning.
After all I am a goat right? 
this habit of mine lives under my fur
Alining myself with the stars

I was on a road, 
A road that I once saw that was boarder than the sea.
Wider than our skies at night.
Brighter than any star we have seen

Now?

All I see is a path,
A path that is now smaller than the sewage outside her window,
a path that is darker than my room at night,
a path where now lurks evil creatures we don't speak of, 
a path that goes in circle and seems endless. 

Am I lost?
How the heck did I get here?
Can I get some help?

but wait.. 
Now, I see a bridge a little further away, 
I think its a bridge?
But should I cross it? 
Does it seem safe?

What happens next?

that's another part of my dream that will have to wait wouldn't it?

Did you know that when I dream, 
the endings are always better than the beginnings? 

hmm.. or maybe not.

-sha-

Let There Be Morning

I think it’s becoming a norm of mine to blog only once a month.
I should not call this a blog anymore.
It’s just a writing space which I fill in with my thoughts once
I have the time to actually sit on my chair and actually lazee.
Usually if I have extra time it just means that
I'm trying to squeeze in as much leisure time with my
laptop with all my TV shows and surfing as much as I can before
the new day dawns again. 

I think it’s about time I can finally say, things have not been the same as it was before.
Finally a shifting norm away from the "set in stone".
I've come to realize one thing from this change.
No matter what you do, or who you think you know,
people always talk and they will always have their own perception of things.
Even if you had a knife to them.
Even if you gave them cookies.
 
I've always been such a sucker for the truth, finding what is real..
what is the right way.. how should it be? does this feel right?
When I should have been more focus on how I felt,
how does this impact me, how will things change for me..
No, please don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to be a fish monger.
I'm asking you to open up. 
 
People always talk not because they are out to get you.
People talk because they are not you, and only you can understand yourself the best.
You are your own best friend.
and it’s finally time you looked him/her in the eye and tell them that.

but if you did offer me this. 




i "might" just tell a little white lie ;P
jk

-sha-